It's Friday (most days)!!!!!
2219 Replies, 1142728 Views
Good lord!
[URL="http://daenystargaryen.tumblr.com/post/53978422084"]
http://daenystargaryen.tumblr.com/post/53978422084[/URL] Feminist Yog-Sothoth Quote: I'm glad i hadn't heard 98% of those until now
[video=youtube_share;OBA6qlHW8po]http://youtu.be/OBA6qlHW8po[/video]
That was painful to watch.
On a lighter note;
When I see pdx as the last poster in this thread I always know I'm going to have a laugh...
Quote:Gary Lineker @GaryLineker 1h https://twitter.com/GaryLineker
Couldnt find the book i was looking for here
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Too clever by half: 25 highbrow jokes
1. A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: “No, I’m travelling light.” 2. “Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?” 3. What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog. 4. A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman: “Hello, I’d like a beer.” The barman replies: “Hello, you’d like a beer?” “Yes,” replies the TCP packet, “I’d like a beer.” 5. An electron is driving down a motorway, and a policeman pulls him over. The policeman says: “Sir, do you realise you were travelling at 130km per hour?” The electron goes: “Oh great, now I’m lost.” 6. Pavlov is enjoying a pint in the pub. The phone rings. He jumps up and shouts: “Hell, I forgot to feed the dog!” 7. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish. 8. There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don’t. 9. When I heard that oxygen and magnesium hooked up I was like OMg. 10. The barman says: “We don’t serve faster-than-light particles here.” A tachyon enters a bar. 11. A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says: “Make me one with everything”. 12. What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder. 13. An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together. A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men can’t see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: “Can you see me now?” The four men answer: “Yes.” “Oui.” “Si.” “Ja.” 14. Never trust an atom. They make up everything. 15. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem. 16. A student travelling on a train looks up and sees Einstein sitting next to him. Excited, he asks: “Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?” 17. Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on a technicality. 18. Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Gödel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg turns to the other two and says: “Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it’s funny or not?” Gödel replies: “We can’t know that because we’re inside the joke.” Chomsky says: “Of course it’s funny. You’re just telling it wrong.” 19. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: “Five beers, please.” 20. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now. 21. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says: “What’ll it be, boys?” The first mathematician: “I’ll have one half of a beer.” The second mathematician: “I’ll have one quarter of a beer.” The third mathematician: “I’ll have one eight of a beer.” The fourth mathematician: “I’ll have one sixteenth of a…” The bartender interrupts: “Know your limits, boys” as he pours out a single beer. 22. What does the “B” in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Answer: Benoit B Mandelbrot. 23. Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French café, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress: “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies: “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?” 24. A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: “Euripides?” The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?” 25. A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
those are my kind of jokes
favourites: Paradigm X Wrote:3. What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
My favs
Paradigm X Wrote:Too clever by half: 25 highbrow jokes #21 is my fav though ; #9 my secret fav
Re #4 - I'd tell the joke about UDP, but I'm not sure you'd get it.
#23 reminds me a bit of the joke about two behaviourists having sex, and afterwards one of them says "so that was great for you, but how was it for me." Statto Wrote:those are my kind of jokes Got to admit, the Mandelbrot one is rather genius. Tossup between 19, 23 and 25 for me. Paradigm X Wrote:How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem.
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[video=youtube_share;DActj__h3SI]http://youtu.be/DActj__h3SI[/video]
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